Jokes
Category: Business jokesWhy
did the electrician close early on
Mondays?
Because business was very light.modify jokevote: 6.71
Category: Business jokesThe Americans and the Japanese decided to
engage in a boat
race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach
their peak
performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The
Japanese won by a mile.
The American team was discouraged by the loss.
Morale sagged. Corporate
management decided that the reason for the
crushing defeat had to be
found, so a consulting firm was hired to
investigate the problem and
recommend corrective action.
The
Japanese team had six people rowing and one person steering and
rowing; the American team had two people rowing and five people steering.
After a year of study and thousands spent analyzing the problem, the
consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and
not
enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared
again the
following year, the American team's management structure
was completely
reorganized. The new structure for the American
s was: one quality
assurance manager, two steering managers, one
area steering managers, and a
new performance review manager for the
two people rowing the boat to
provide work incentive.
That
year, the Japanese won by TWO miles !!!
Humiliated, the American
corporation laid off the rowers for poor
performance and gave the
managers a bonus for discovering the problem.modify jokevote: 4.86
Category: Business jokesThe social
worker asked the bartender
"What's the difference between your job and
mine?"
The bartender
replied: "I only had to go to bartender school for 6
weeks and I
learned to mix a very good drinks, than wait a couple of hours
to
have people tell me their innermost thoughts while you went to
school
for 6 years, paid thousands and thousands of dollars, sit session
after session using technique after technique, and you still may never
hear them!!!modify jokevote: 9.19
Category: Business jokesINTERVIEWER to job
applicant: "Do you
think you could come up with any reason you want this
job other than
your parents want you out of their house?"modify jokevote: 7.03
Category: Business jokesBoss: "I can assure you that the value of the
average employee will continue to increase."
Employee: "That's
because there will be fewer of us doing more work,
right?"
Boss: "Right. Except for the 'us' part."modify jokevote: 2.00
Category: Business jokesBoss: "I've decided to use humor in the
office. Experts say humor
eases tension, which is important in times
when the work force is being
trimmed.
"Knock knock."
Employee: "Who's there?"
Boss: "Not you anymore."modify jokevote: 0.98
Category: Business jokesAfter being laid off from five
different
jobs in four months, Arnold was hired by a warehouse. One day he
lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying
the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold
ten percent of Arnold's wages to pay for the repairs. "How much
will it
cost?" asked Arnold. "About $4,500," said the owner.
"What a relief!" exclaimed Arnold. 'I've finally got job
security!"modify jokevote: 0.97
Category: Business jokesA businessman who needed millions of dollars
to
clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money.
By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an
urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100
into the
other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the
church.The
businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now,
Lord, that I have
your undivided attention .... "modify jokevote: 1.29
Category: Business jokes'I'm very sad to announce this morning,
girls, that
Miss Jones has decided to retire,' said the principal at
morning
assembly. ' Now we will all stand and sing this morning's
hymn....now
Thank We All Our God.'modify jokevote: 1.83
Category: Business jokesAn American manufacturer is showing his
machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the
lunch
whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop
work and
leave the building.
"Your workers, they're
escaping!" cries the visitor. "You've got
to stop them."
"Don't
worry, they'll be back," says the American. And indeed, at
exactly
one o'clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return
from
their break.
When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to
his guest and says,
"Well, now, which of these machines would you
like to order?"
"Forget the machines," says the visitor. "How much
do you want for
that whistle?"modify jokevote: 5.95