Jokes
Category: College jokesA son is
calling his mom from college, and
telling her that he had just got his
degree. The mother says:
That's great honey! What kind of degree? And the
son, almost squealing
with excitement says: The best one ever, a
Celsius degree!modify jokevote: 3.98
Category: College jokesCollege meals
are generally unpopular with
those who have to eat them and sometimes
with good reason. "What
kind of pie do you call this?" asked one
student
indignantly.
"What's it taste like?" asked the cook."
"Glue!"
"Then it's apple
pie the plum pie tastes like soap."modify jokevote: 6.76
Category: College jokes"Now my motto in
life," said the school
chaplain, "is work hard, play hard and pray
hard. How about you,
Harriet?"
"My motto is let bygones be bygones."
"That's good. Why
did you choose that?"
"Then I wouldn't have to take any history
classes!"modify jokevote: 9.94
Category: College jokesA college friend was going to meet a young
lady he new.
"An old flame? I asked.
He winked and said, "More like
an unlit match."modify jokevote: 7.66
Category: College jokesQ: What do college students and deer have in
common?
A: They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at
your
headlights.modify jokevote: 6.11
Category: College jokesThe female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for
all male students, so too
the male dormitory to the female
students. Anybody caught breaking this
rule will be fined $20 the first
time. Anybody caught breaking this
rule the second time will be fined
$60. Being caught a third time will
incur a hefty fine of $180. Are
there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd
inquires, "Er... How much for a
season pass?"modify jokevote: 4.31
Category: College jokesQ: How
many graduate students does it take
to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it may take him/her more
than five years to do
it.modify jokevote: 8.47
Category: College jokesQ. How many law professors does it take to
change a light
bulb?
A. Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the
research grant.modify jokevote: 2.70
Category: College jokesTwo storks are
sitting in their nest: a
father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is
crying and crying and
father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't
worry, son. Your mother
will come back. She's only bringing people babies
and making them
happy."
The next night, it's father's turn to do the job.
Mother and son are
sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and
mother is saying,
"Son, your father will be back as soon as
possible, but now he's
bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."
A
few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son has
been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and
the parents ask him where he's been all night.
The baby
stork says, "No where. Just scaring the hell out of college
students!"modify jokevote: 1.67
Category: College jokesA college student in a philosophy class was
taking his first examination.
On the paper there was a single
line which simply said: "Is this a
question?" - Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an
answer."
The student received an "A" on the exam.
A
Boston brokerage house advertised for a "young Harvard graduate or
the
equivalent."
Among the inquiries received was one from a Yale
grad. He said, "Do
you mean two Princeton men, or a Yale man part
time?"modify jokevote: 1.89