Jokes
Category: Dead and dying jokesA dying man smells his favorite oatmeal
raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has
left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs. He
sees the
cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As
he reaches
for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks
his and she
yells:
"No, you can't have those! They're for the
funeral!"modify jokevote: 0.29
Category: Dead and dying jokesThere was a great loss today in the
entertainment world. The
man who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" died.
What was really horrible is
that they had trouble keeping the body in
the casket.
They put his left leg in....
Well, you know
the rest.modify jokevote: 2.88
Category: Dead and dying jokesThree weeks after her wedding
day,
Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I
had
a DREADFUL fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's
not half as bad as
you think it is. Every marriage has to have its
first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what am I going
to do with the
BODY?"modify jokevote: 1.37
Category: Dead and dying jokesQ: What is the
definition of
Death?
A: When you stop paying taxes suddenly.modify jokevote: 4.65
Category: Dead and dying jokesWaiter, there's a fly in my soup
!
Yes, it's the rotting meat that attracts them !modify jokevote: 0.64
Category: Dead and dying jokesWhat are you doing?
I'm trying to
call Washington!
Oh, haven't you heard? He's dead!modify jokevote: 9.50
Category: Dead and dying jokesWhy was George Washington buried at
Mount Vernon ?
Because he was dead !modify jokevote: 2.30
Category: Dead and dying jokesWhen a knight in armour was killed in
battle, what sign did they put on
his grave ?
Rust in peace !modify jokevote: 0.67
Category: Dead and dying jokesWhy did the cowboy
die with his
boots on ?
Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the
bucket
!modify jokevote: 7.01
Category: Dead and dying jokesWhat is posthumous work ?
Something
written by someone after they are dead !modify jokevote: 4.80