Jokes
Category: Divorce jokesQ: How many divorced men does it take to screw
in a light bulb?
A: None, the sockets go with the house.modify jokevote: 3.21
Category: Divorce jokesQuestion: What's the
major cause of
divorce?
Answer: Once is not enough.modify jokevote: 5.59
Category: Divorce jokesA
guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising
his voice, asks to speak to
himself.
"Sorry, he doesn't
live here anymore, we're divorced!"
Next day, the guy does the
same thing with the same results.
He does this everyday for a week,
and finally his ex-wife realizes who
it is that keeps calling.
"Look, Bozo! We're divorced! Finito! End of
story! When are you going
to get that through your fat head?"
"Oh, I know! I just can't
hear it enough!"modify jokevote: 1.58
Category: Divorce jokesMrs. Caroline Squires of Cincinnati filed for
a divorce from her
husband in 1949 on grounds of desertion. She
testified he'd stepped out
"for a beer" on the Fourth of July, 1917,
and had never come back.modify jokevote: 0.77
Category: Divorce jokesDefinition of Divorce: The future tense of
marriage.modify jokevote: 0.76
Category: Divorce jokesQ: Why do divorced men get married
again?
A: Bad memory.modify jokevote: 4.34
Category: Divorce jokesA ninety-year-old couple decide
to get a
divorce. They go to the judge and say, "Judge, we want a
divorce."
The judge says, "You've been married 70 years and now you want to
get
a divorce? Why did you wait so long?"
The couple say in
unison, "Well, we wanted to wait until the kids were
dead."modify jokevote: 0.31
Category: Divorce jokesMy husband and I divorced over
religious
differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn't.modify jokevote: 2.41
Category: Divorce jokesQuestion: Why is divorce so
expensive?
Answer: Because it's worth it.modify jokevote: 0.58
Category: Divorce jokesA hillbilly walked into an attorney's office
wanting to file for
divorce.
Attorney: "May I help you?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces".
Attorney: "Well do you have any grounds?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I got
about a hundred acres."
Attorney: "No, you don't understand, do
you have a case?"
Hillbilly: "No, I don't have a Case, but I
have a John Deere."
Attorney: "I mean, do you have a grudge?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John
Deere."
Attorney: "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
Hillbilly: "Yes sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays."
Attorney: "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
Hillbilly: "No sir, we both get up about 4:30 in the morning."
Attorney: "Well, is she a nagger or anything?!?!?!?"
Hillbilly:
"No she's a little white gal, but our last child was a
nagger
. That's why I want this dayvorce."modify jokevote: 3.49