Jokes
Category: Idiot and fool jokesAn idiot decided to start a chicken
farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he
returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the
first
lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for
another
hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I
think I know
where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am
planting them too
deep."modify jokevote: 4.87
Category: Idiot and fool jokesThere were two guys working for the
city. One would dig a hole -- he would dig, dig, dig.
The other
would come behind him and fill the hole -- fill, fill, fill.
These two
men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling
it up
again.
A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn't believe how
hard
these men were working, but couldn't understand what they
were doing.
Finally he had to ask them.
He said to the hole digger,
"I appreciate how hard you work, but what
are you doing? You dig a
hole and your partner comes behind you and
fills it up
again!"
The hole digger replied, "Oh yeah, must look funny, but the guy who
plants the trees is sick today."modify jokevote: 4.73
Category: Idiot and fool jokesOne idiot said to the other, "You
know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those
who
can count, and those who can't.modify jokevote: 6.26
Category: Idiot and fool jokesWhat did the idiot do to the flea in
his ear?
Shot it!modify jokevote: 3.98
Category: Idiot and fool jokesQUESTION: Why does the town idiot take
his bedroom door off the
hinges and put it to the sid every night
when he goes to sleep?
ANSWER: Because he's afraid someone would
look through the
keyhole.modify jokevote: 1.81
Category: Idiot and fool jokesTwo newfies walked into a pet
store. The first says "I want four budgies."
Salesman-certainly sir,
would you like two male and two female or
all male or all female?
Newfie-I don't care. I just want 4 budgies!
Salesman-certainly
sir, what color would you like? We have yellow,
blue, gr...
Newfie
- I don't care what color they are, just put four budgies in a
box
for me. Is that too hard?
Salesman - O.K. O.K.
The two newfies
pay for the budgies and leave. They drive out to this
high cliff in
Newfoundland and the first newfie reaches in the box and
pulls out
two of the birds, grasps them firmly and jumps off the cliff
while
flapping his arms. Of course he SPLATS at the bottom.
The second
newfie looks down at his friend's twisted remains and says
"What a
shame. this budgie jumping isn't all it's cracked up to
be!"modify jokevote: 5.02
Category: Idiot and fool jokesQ: Have you heard about the Irish
abortion
clinic?
A: There's a 12-month waiting list.modify jokevote: 1.11
Category: Idiot and fool jokesQ: Did you hear about the 25 Irish
people that drowned?
A: They were riverdancing.modify jokevote: 3.50
Category: Idiot and fool jokesAfter interviewing a particularly
short-spoken
job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather
monosyllabic.
My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?".
Thinking that he was
just kidding, I played along and said that it was
just south of
Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by
Croatia?"modify jokevote: 8.80
Category: Idiot and fool jokesFire
investigators on Maui have
determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed
a $127,000 home last
month - a short in the homeowner's newly
installed fire prevention
alarm system. "This is even worse than last year,"
said the
distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new
security
system..."modify jokevote: 0.18