Jokes
Category: Idiot and fool jokesI
was sitting in my science class,
when the teacher commented that the
next day would be the shortest
day of the year. My lab partner became
visibly excited, cheering
and clapping. I explained to her that the amount
of daylight changes,
not the actual amount of time. Needless to say,
she was very
disappointed.modify jokevote: 7.17
Category: Idiot and fool jokesMy neighbor works in the operations
department in the central
office of a large bank. Employees in the
field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night
he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this
question: "I've got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do
you guys have a fire downtown?"modify jokevote: 1.14
Category: Idiot and fool jokesI live in a semi-rural area. We
recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
to
request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The
reason:
Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted
them to cross
there.modify jokevote: 6.17
Category: Idiot and fool jokesPolice in Oakland, California spent two
hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself
inside
his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers
discovered that
the man was standing beside them, shouting please to come
out and give
himself up.modify jokevote: 9.90
Category: Idiot and fool jokesDuring a break on a North Dakota office
building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle.
"Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said.
"What
fer?" asked Pyle.
"Shorter hours."
"Good fer them!" said
the redneck. "Ah always did think sixty
minutes was too long fer an
hour!"modify jokevote: 4.45
Category: Idiot and fool jokesKennen was having a drink in a saloon
when his neighbor,
Stakely, came rushing in.
"Ah think
somebody's stealin' yore pickup truck!" the man said
breathlessly.
Kennan ran outside, but came back right away.
"Well, did
yew stop him?" asked Stakely.
"Naw!" said the redneck. "He was
too fast. But Ah got his license
plate before he got away!"modify jokevote: 0.79
Category: Idiot and fool jokesThe July temperature in
Joplin
climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat,
Bozell
was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to
watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?" "
'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two
coats!"modify jokevote: 9.83
Category: Idiot and fool jokesIzzard went into a Baltimore bank to
cash his check. Since he didn't have an account there, the teller
asked
if he could identify himself.
"Sure," said Izzard.
"There a mirror around here?"
"There's one on the wall right
beside you," said the clerk.
Izzard took a glance in the mirror and
heaved a sigh of relief.
"Yep!" he said. "It's me, all
right!"modify jokevote: 2.79
Category: Idiot and fool jokesMayne and Willard, two idiots, were in
a rowboat on a lake fishing.
Suddenly the spray from a motorboat
racing by flooded their boat.
"How we gonna get the water out?" asked
Mayne. "Easy," said
Willard. "We just bore a hole in the bottom of
the boat and let the water
drain out." The men drilled a hole in
the bottom, and more water started
rushing in. "Wait a minute!"
exclaimed Mayne. "We need another hole
so's the water comin' in
through the first one has a place to go back
into the lake!"modify jokevote: 4.71
Category: Idiot and fool jokesZack and Tybe, two
Alabama farm
boys, bought themselves a truckload of watermelons for a buck
apiece.
They sold each one for a dollar. After counting up their cash,
they
realized they'd wound up with the same amount of money
they'd started
out with.
"See!" said Tybe. "Ah told yew we
shoulda got a bigger
truck!"modify jokevote: 0.26