Jokes
Category: Judge jokesHow is a judge like an English
teacher?
They both hand out long sentences.modify jokevote: 0.84
Category: Judge jokesWhat did the judge say when a skunk entered the
courtroom?
Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!modify jokevote: 7.88
Category: Judge jokesBefore a burglary trial, the judge explained to
the defendant, "You can let me try your case, or you can choose to
have a jury of your peers."
The man thought for a moment. "What
are peers?" he asked.
"They're people just like you your
equals."
"Forget it," retorted the defendant. "I don't want to be tried by a
bunch of thieves."modify jokevote: 9.52
Category: Judge jokesIt seems that a lawyer had a little bit too
much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front of him.
The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the
other
car and said, "Boy, are you in trouble. I'm a
lawyer!"
The driver looked out his window and said, "No, you're in trouble.
I'm a judge."modify jokevote: 9.92
Category: Judge jokesA red-faced judge convened court
after a
long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk
driving
who claimed it simply wasn't true.
"I'm as sober as you are,
your honor," the man claimed.
The judge replied, "Clerk, please
enter a guilty plea. The defendant
is sentenced to 30 days."modify jokevote: 0.03
Category: Judge jokesWhen is an English teacher like a judge?
When she hands out long sentences.modify jokevote: 3.41
Category: Judge jokesWho is the most powerful ghoul?
Judge
Dread.modify jokevote: 5.67
Category: Judge jokesAt night court, a man was brought in and set
before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put
this man in a dry
cell!"modify jokevote: 8.31
Category: Judge jokesA lawyer passed on and
found himself in
Heaven,
but not at all happy with his accommodations.
He complained
to St. Peter, who told him that his
only recourse was to appeal his
assignment. The
lawyer immediately advised that he intended
to
appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting
at least three years
before his appeal could be
heard. The lawyer protested that a
three-year wait
was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf
ears.
The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who
told him that he
would be able to arrange an appeal
to be heard in a few days, if the
lawyer was willing
to change venue to Hell. The lawyer asked: "Why
can
appeals be heard so much sooner in Hell?"
The devil answered: "We
have all of the judges."modify jokevote: 1.97
Category: Judge jokesJudge: Is there any reason you could not serve
as a juror in
this
case?
Juror: I don't want to be away
from my job that long.
Judge: Can't they do without you at
work?
Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.modify jokevote: 7.17